I Am Afraid

I have lived most of my life paralyzed by fear. I have left it creep in and hold me back from doing a lot of things through the years. This is not how I want to live my life; instead I want to live a full life, free in Christ. I can become more than my fears tell me that I can or will be; just like David did when he stood against Goliath. I want to run to face those things that keep me back from chasing after God and exchange my fears for what is greater. The trust in God that gave David the strength to run toward Goliath is what I need to lean on and remember that it is not up to me to defeat my fears. I only have to let God guide my actions and follow his voice of truth. Going back to school is the biggest leap of faith I've taken, probably my whole life. When I let my fears speak to me I am terrified that I am going to fail but as I listen to Christ I know he will teach me to rise above those crippling fears and live a life that reveals his glory.

1 Samuel 17:48- As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him.

God's glory is made perfect in my weakness

A good friend of mine told me that this summer at camp was going to be hard for me; but that the outcome would be worth it. I knew that the summer would come with it's fair share of challenges; mostly expectations that I put on myself to improve in the role I was coming back to. I was not however, anticipating the distractions and roller coaster of emotions that came with the challenges. The first half of my summer was full of distractions that pulled my focus away from camp and where I thought it should be. Satan used every little foot-hold he could find and soon had me full of guilt. I expressed my feelings of inadequacy and weakness to a few close friends and I was encouraged by their responses. They told me that they had received encouragement and seen God working through me. God was using me without me even knowing it! In spite of my feelings he had been speaking to others through me. As much as I would like to take credit for doing some really cool things and having great ideas, I can't because anything great that happened this summer was not from me but from God. It is so good to know that it's not about me! I'm honored that he chooses to use us to carry out his purposes and relieved to know that I don't have to strive to be the best, he will be glorified most when we get out of the way.