Nothing Held Back

I guess I asked for this. Looking back through my journal I saw that in September I wrote:

“I pray that you would continue to show me things in my life that need to be refined. Bring me through the fire, Lord! I want all that you have for me, nothing held back.”

Five months later my world has been turned upside down. I have been faced with a tough situation in every aspect of my life. I wasn't kidding when I prayed for refining, but I guess I didn't expect God to try to do it all at once. I knew that starting college would be hard but I couldn't have prepared myself for this. It is comforting to think that if God is entrusting me with all of this right now, he will give me strength to walk through it. He is in control and I can only anticipate with excitement what he is planning for my future. It's not much fun to be purged in the fire, but I will come out as refined gold. I will love my God more deeply for it.

Valentines Day or Singles Awareness Day?

      I have to say, as a single 26 year old woman I have nothing against this holiday. I respect having a day to specifically honor someone you love. I enjoy seeing men get sentimental and remembering why they fell in love in the first place. As a single woman, my day goes on as normal, besides the occasional annoyance toward the overly affectionate couple sitting in front of me (but that can happen any day, lets be honest).

     Yes, businesses take advantage of it and push their product; they do that on every holiday. Am I reminded that I am single? Yes, and I am everyday when I see couples all around me. Yes, some women use it manipulatively, putting unrealistic expectations on it; those women will do that with anything. 

     I will be honest, I hope to fall in love and get married someday; but I'm not going to let myself express bitterness today because I have some sort of right. I will not lie by making today about proving how happy I am to be single. But I do know that God's timing is better than mine, so I will wait (trying to be patient). I will celebrate with my friends who are happy in their God-honoring relationships; they deserve to be happy.