The Moses Syndrome

The story of Moses has been a recurring theme in my life recently. An older lady at my church told me a few months ago that her Sunday School class had compared me to Moses, and I'm sure they meant that in the best way possible. I've been studying his story a lot recently, specifically when God called him at the burning bush. I've learned that although Moses ended up playing a huge part in the story God is telling, he started out as a stubborn, defiant man. I'm realizing that I am more like Moses than I thought and more than I would like to admit.

In Exodus 3:1-4:20 there are quite a few times that as God reveals his vision for Moses' life, Moses questions God about what will happen if the people don't listen or tries to tell God that he can't do what God is asking of him. I love God's response to Moses. Each time, God doesn't even acknowledge Moses' weaknesses or doubts but instead redirects Moses' focus and tells him that he is the great “I AM ” is sending him and when Moses continues to question God shows His glory and says “Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Is it not I, the Lord? I will help you speak and teach you what to say.” And even then Moses asks God again to send someone else!

All too often my focus is on myself, my weaknesses and the lies that the enemy tries to sell me. I try to tell God that I'm not cut out for what he's asking me to do and that there are plenty of people that would be much better suited for the job. When in fact, God is asking me to do exactly what he made me 'cut out' to be. I have to constantly refocus my vision to be in line with God's vision and focus on His glory and ability to work in and through me despite my weaknesses. Thank the Lord that he doesn't give up on us easily or at all for that matter!

Hold Things Loosely

 I have many possessions that I call ‘mine’ like I have a right to them; I even do it with relationships.  I go to my room and sleep in my bed and put on my clothes and listen to music on my ipod and then I have dinner with my family before I leave my house in my car to spend time with my friends. 

Do I have a right to claim these things? Does any of it really matter? I don’t think so; at least God seems to be trying really hard to convince me otherwise.  The first time that I was struck by the reality was in Germany when my house was broken into and my possessions were stolen out of my room while my roommates and I were sleeping a few feet away.  As I was processing the whole situation later that day God told me that I need to hold things loosely, because they aren’t really mine anyway. A few years later I was traveling around Europe and one of my bags was stolen in a train station. In that bag was all of my treasured possessions from the trip; my camera, my bible and bible study, my paintings and postcards as souvenirs. I was angry and bitter and couldn’t understand why this had happened. A few more years passed and I left home again to live in West Africa for a year. I left every one of my relationships that was dear to me behind and I struggled desperately not to lose them. This past year I have felt God calling me to give up my desires and plans I had for my life and be willing go to school and even surrender my desire to get married someday. I guess some lessons are harder to accept because I was just not getting it.  All of these things I call mine are things I have been blessed with and I deserve none of it.  The things I possess are a little easier to let go of but the relationships in my life I feel like I can’t live without. God is constantly trying to show me that it’s not true; all I need is Him.

Jesus, I want to desire only you. Help me to hold things loosely and surrender them to your hand.