I have many possessions that I call ‘mine’ like I have a right to them; I even do it with relationships. I go to my room and sleep in my bed and put on my clothes and listen to music on my ipod and then I have dinner with my family before I leave my house in my car to spend time with my friends.
Do I have a right to claim these things? Does any of it really matter? I don’t think so; at least God seems to be trying really hard to convince me otherwise. The first time that I was struck by the reality was in Germany when my house was broken into and my possessions were stolen out of my room while my roommates and I were sleeping a few feet away. As I was processing the whole situation later that day God told me that I need to hold things loosely, because they aren’t really mine anyway. A few years later I was traveling around Europe and one of my bags was stolen in a train station. In that bag was all of my treasured possessions from the trip; my camera, my bible and bible study, my paintings and postcards as souvenirs. I was angry and bitter and couldn’t understand why this had happened. A few more years passed and I left home again to live in West Africa for a year. I left every one of my relationships that was dear to me behind and I struggled desperately not to lose them. This past year I have felt God calling me to give up my desires and plans I had for my life and be willing go to school and even surrender my desire to get married someday. I guess some lessons are harder to accept because I was just not getting it. All of these things I call mine are things I have been blessed with and I deserve none of it. The things I possess are a little easier to let go of but the relationships in my life I feel like I can’t live without. God is constantly trying to show me that it’s not true; all I need is Him.
Jesus, I want to desire only you. Help me to hold things loosely and surrender them to your hand.
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